I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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