he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
