He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
