His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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