You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
