I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
