How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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