Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
