Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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