i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
