i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
