Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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