i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
