So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
