When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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