We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
