As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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