i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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