Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
