There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
