just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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