oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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