She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!