I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
