I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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