Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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