i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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