May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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