it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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