If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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