can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
