He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
