Only a mothe r could love this liver
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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