tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
