i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
