The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
