Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
