i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
