Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
