Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
