So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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