people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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