i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
NoShamevember. You game?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
