I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
