hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
