If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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