I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
