yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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