Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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