Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can I color on your dick again?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
