saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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