I smell stomach acid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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