Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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