To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
