why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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