Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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