But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
