We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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