I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
