dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
