New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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