Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
