Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
