i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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