Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
