Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
