i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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