i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
