I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize