@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
